SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I had mentioned on my thread (Lurking here 2 years) how I dealt with my pain by writing poetry because unlike journaling poetry has a beginning and an end so I could kinda keep my pain in a box so to speak.

I was wondering if anyone else wrote poetry as therapy to deal with the pain both BS and WS.

I would love to see others poems and I am willing to post some of mine first if it would make it easier for others to post theirs.

Good idea? Bad idea? Delete this thread?

In my self imposed silence turned to poetry

Since we’re all anonymous I thought it might be safe and maybe, just maybe it might help somebody going through a similar situation.

It was self therapy for me and it truly helped!

Asterisk, there might be more folks like you and me on here :)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That shit really hurt
So, screw you!

I just wrote that. Not quite Shakespeare, though I think he'd appreciate it.

POST THAT POETRY

Well there we go, Unhinged gave us our first official poem, I think I understand what he was trying to say :)

I have written poetry in the past, but not for this experience. I've been processing both the affair and some other unfortunate life circumstances through a novel I'm writing, though. I enjoy wordsmithing. :)

NoThanksForTheMemories, will the novel be shared or will it stay secret. I like word smithing too!

Roses are red

Violets are blue

That shit really hurt

So, screw you!

The depth Unhinged, the depth! How do you do it?

[This message edited by Asterisk at 8:05 AM, Thursday, August 6th]

Dream’s rewind

There are seconds
Like these, when
The recall clock ticks
Disorienting clicks
"Tock tick, tock tick"
Rewinding one’s mind
As the veiled past passes
Violating future’s right time

I had an employee from Alaska who was very well liked by my customers because he's a really good talker, but man, he was a huge slacker. I made up some lyrics one day to sing along with the song "Black Betty" for him...

Woah that Kenny

Bam-a-lam

Yo, that Kenny

Bam-a-lam

Does as little as he can

Bam-a-lam

That Alaskan man

Bam-a-lam

Makes love to his hand

Bam-a-lam

Any time he can

Bam-a-lam

Whoa that Kenny

Bam-a-lam

Yo, that Kenny

Bam-a-lam

Not quite a poem, but song lyrics are poetic, yes..? It was quite a hit at work. Kenny even liked it, lol. You have to understand, while he really ground my gears sometimes, he was a great guy, very skilled, and an asset because my customers loved him. We're friends. I just wish he was more productive...

Apologies if this isn't in the spirit of the thread, but I figured we could always use some humor, and you being in the military and all I thought you might appreciate it.

[This message edited by Pogre at 12:47 PM, Thursday, August 6th]

Pogre,

That was a fun musical poem. Thanks for sharing it. We all can use a laugh and that made me gut laugh till it hurt.

Asterisk, great poem!

Pogre, always room for humor, always! And I love Black Betty :)

More seriously, a number of members have published some very moving poems on SI.

I suppose if a poet publishes a book that includes a poem posted on SI, that will compromise anonymity, but publishing a book is probably worth the risk.

I agree sisoon. I wrote the following poem less than a week after my wife told me that she punished me by having sex with another man. The pain was unimaginable as you’ll see in the words. Back in 1993 I had no cell phone so I wrote this on a notebook while my tears dripped on the pages, then I tore the page out and carried it in my wallet until a few years ago when I could put it on my phone. This came straight from my soul, a broken man with a broken heart!

Despair

Words like a knife sliced through my heart,
Her words took my world and ripped it apart.
Pain such as this I could not comprehend,
Will pain such as this bring my life to an end.
Will death be a choice or beyond my control,
My heart slows its beating its taking its toll.
She gave her body to another to punish me,
For lack of attention, done hatefully.
My thoughts turn to rage, crying and shame,
No choice was I given but suffer the pain.
Ghost in the mirror, pistol in hand,
Cry till I’m empty then make my stand.
Hand on her throat pushed into the wall,
Gun to my temple I must end it all.
Force her to watch so she feels my pain,
Pull the cold trigger, peace once again.
Forgiveness, revenge or living a lie,
Should stand up for myself but I didn’t try.
The love for my son has made my choice,
Live with the pain, without a voice.
A constant reminder when I look in her eyes,
Of the hurt she inflicted, her casual lies.

I am definitely not creative in the traditional arts by any means. However, the topic got me thinking of just how well can Ai be creative in this space with minimal prompting. I have a partiality to haiku. Few of my favorites….

Faithful was too hard.
You traded gold for cheap glass—
Now you wear the shards.

A heart rented out
Can never become a home.
Winter moved right in.

Every lie you told
Built a prison just for you.
Enjoy your kingdom.

You broke every vow.
Now even your own shadow
Won’t walk home with you.

You buried true love
Beneath a mountain of lies.
Now dig with bare hands.

You thought every door
Would stay open after lies.
Locks remember, too.

Remind me never to piss off Ai

Damn, 31RS. It feels like you ripped that right straight from my heart on April 15th, 2025. I'm finding myself choking back some pretty strong emotions right now.

Pogre, I’m glad and I’m sincerely sorry at the same time!!

That poem was unfiltered from the depths of my despair.

Pogre, I’m glad and I’m sincerely sorry at the same time!!

That poem was unfiltered from the depths of my despair.

My wife told me her affair was in part a play for attention and to hurt me for not giving her enough attention. I went home alone after confronting her and I spent some time looking at my closet doorway where I keep my Glock. Ultimately it was me thinking of my son and the fact that my dogs were with me and I didn't want to traumatize them that helped stop me from doing something stupid, so your poem hits pretty close to home.

My d day was pretty horrific. Her words and actions when I confronted her are what still haunts me to this day almost a year and half later. It took her about a month to snap out of it. It took me making some phone calls and setting up a couple of consultations with divorce lawyers and real estate agents right in front of her to do it. She came clean, cut contact, blocked him on everything, and put in for a location transfer at work (he was a co worker). She's been a model for reconciliation ever since.

Thats why I usually try to nudge folks to stay away from the pick me dance and stand up for their dignity. Because many wayward spouses just don't get the depth of the devastation we feel as betrayed spouses. They don't get a lot. They're usually in a fog and don't consider how painful this is. They'll try to run the show, blame shift, and walk all over their spouse until they get a hard dose of reality and realize the relationship is in real jeopardy.

Not all waywards will react as quickly as mine did, and some will even double down, but in my mind I decided that living in infidelity and uncertainty was worse than divorce. I wanted out of the nightmare of infidelity and that's what worked for me and many others.

Your situation is different because you're so far removed from it so I'm not trying to suggest you jump straight to divorce like I did. I don't think it would be a bad idea if you maybe tried what NukeZombie is suggesting,tho. If not exactly that, at least something along those lines if you really want some answers. Now, you did also say she's willing to talk if you want to. I'd suggest sitting her down and just tell her how badly this is bothering you still. That trigger a couple of years ago woke something up that isn't going to rest or just go away without some work and she could help you with it.

One thing I think I'm doing "right" is not allowing this to be rugswept. We're dealing with this head on, and my wife is bending over backwards to make amends and help me build a new marriage. She's convinced me that she's all in, but I'm still really hurting some days. I've had a rough week this last week reliving events and your poem really hit a couple of soft spots. I don't regret reading it nor would I want you to feel bad about it tho. Working through these feelings is part of the process of recovery.

I do know how you feel. You're being heard here. Whatever advice you receive jjst know we all have your best interests at heart. I know you know that, but I think it's worth repeating. Whatever you end up doing I hope it works out for you, brother. I really do.

Pogre, I didn’t realize how similar our situations were so I really understand how you feel! I feel bad that I posted my toughest poem when you were having a bad week, I sure hope it gets better!

I’ll be posting more poems but they are not as gut wrenching as "Despair" was.

Glad you didn’t/aren’t rugsweeping, that was probably my worst mistake. I’m probably the champion rugsweeper on here lol.

Yes, my wife will sit down and answer my questions if I ask her to. She’s been sick this week so I’m letting her get better before we talk, I want her in a clear state of mind for obvious reasons.

I do know the good folks on here have my best interests at heart and I also understand the frustration some have of seeing my situation and wondering why I have or haven’t done certain things to help me heal.

Thanks again Pogre!

I wrote this next poem Hope about a month after her affair, she asked me to go to church with her (which was out of character) and after church I was talking to the pastor and a couple of other church members and I saw my wife kneeling at the front of the church with a very sad look on her face. I think she realized what she did and felt regret.

Hope

At first but a blur, out of focus not clear,
My attention on others standing so near.
Kneeling in pain, her look of regret,
A sign of redemption, but not trusting yet.
Still red hot with pain a cool dot appears,
Cautious with anger, blinded by fear.
A glimmer of hope, how to proceed,
Wound sliced wide open continues to bleed.
Turmoil inside, emotions destroyed,
Empty and hurting, my heart is now void.
The actor I am played a big part,
Leaving this place where do we start.
Too hurt to think, too hurt to try,
Live with the pain or maybe goodbye.