SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My WS who recently. Told me the infidelity I thought was a "moment in time" had been occurring our whole marriage ( erotic massage, porn, strip clubs with handjobs and finally escorts) 26 yr marriage, 2 false disclosures and lying to his therapist for 2 years. We had what appeared to be a very loving, su-portice marriage - "marriage goals" people would say. He told me this is a private family matter and he prefers I not disparage him. I’m not angry, I’m clear, but I am not giving the appearance we just gave up on marriage when I was completely devoted. I told someone " it was my decision but not my actions". Close friends know the truth. This really infuriated me " private family matter" ……🙄

You get to decide what you say. Now there may be reasons to "play nice" until the ink is dry on the divorce agreement so that he doesn’t make it more difficult than it needs to be. But once that is set in stone, then you say what you want to who you want.

I said I didn’t like his girlfriend or her husband and kids. Not technically disparaging him at all. Petty? Yes. But also truthful.

So be strategic for now, and then you can say what you want. It’s YOUR family and your privacy and you can say what you want.

Frankly its nobody’s business.
I think you should get the divorce over with, and while that process is going on be as discreet about the why as possible. Once the ink has dried... you can say whatever you want.